What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Make Nazis afraid again!

I am so tired of ignorant people like you calling us far rights, why democrats is so educated, they take things from their own mouth, you guys are totalitarian party?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

How do flat Earthers explain the existence of other spherical planets?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What does pompano fish taste like?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do some women squirt and some don't?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Atheists, there is a god up there in heaven and he loves you so much that he sent his son to die the worst death imaginable and then to turn into a zombie all to save you from sin. Why do you reject him?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Are you happy with your life?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

When was the first time you suck on a penis?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

TEXT:

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Are vampires real?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why does TikTok allow porn stars in its platform? Isn't it aimed at teenagers?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How long does it typically take for prices to return to normal after tariffs are removed?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.